PAIN, SHAME, HURT; LOVE

When disappointment creeps in like a thief in the night
Darkness blankets the heart
And pain oozes from the soul; like pus from a gigantic sore
When sorrow befalls your face
And joy fades
When the smile ceases
All turns bitter
All gets worse
No hope for the better

Like the grass blown by the wind
The soul is tossed to and fro
The heart regrets every second
The mind goes on stand still like a car that has just hit a wall
Fear flows like blood from a ruptured valve
Joy fades like the setting sun
The whole body becomes numb
Emotions freeze
Feet get stuck as though you will never move
The news come like a volcano
Unexpected
Like an earthquake
Forbidden
They shake you out of your roots
They shake you out of your comfort
Like a hunter’s spear
It tears through the body
And crushes the heart
It pulls out all the strength
Takes the hope
Kills the trust
And robs you of the peace
When life and love says to you....

“it is over”
“you aint good enough”
“you are wasting your time”
“just move on”
“you are not meant to be anything”
“just quit”

I hate to be in pain
I hate to be disappointed
I hate to be betrayed
But yet I surprise

All the time I can still smile
All the time I still arise
All the I still can
For I believe
If I still have the breath
I can still breathe on
If I still have the  eyes
I can still see
If I still have my senses
I can still sense, feel and experience

Arise, again I say arise
Don’t be crushed
Learn to look and smile
If there is no sunshine in your direction
Let the smile on my face be your sunshine
We are pressed down but not crushed
Persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
Arise, again i say...arise

Dedicated to you in love
Despite your pain I love you
Despite your hurt God loves you more
We can’t have the answers to everything
That goes wrong in our lives
BUT
Remember the caged bird does not sing because it has the answers to life
But because it has a song
If you haven’t got a song yet
Then join in my melody....

Life as Unusual

In my life, i believe if you live an ordinary life then you have got nothing to live for. some things, in fact most things, in life are unusual so stop getting too surprised at things that come your way. learn to embrace everything with arms wide open for that could be your last chance of seeing such...Dont be stunned, u might die this very minute and what you have is what you will go with. am sure if anybody wants to go to heaven from earth then they are gonna have to die, there is no short cut. this simply means that death is inevitable to all humans, be it an elephant, a cat or a man. when the unexpected comes in, embrace it and deal with it. have a plan in life, dont just keep waking up day to day without even noticing what constructive thing you managed to achieve the day before. or else your entire life will be a surprise. take time off, pray, plan, write a to do list if you tend to forget and count your achievements time after time, that way, you will be able to keep tags on what your life is about.

Right now am going through a unique chapter of life, feeling things i never knew i could feel, staggering across my options and still i cant get myself to see what lies at the end of the tunnel. it is a very frustrating and truthful moment where i feel like i have been given two options; either to be truthful to myself or to be pitiful to others. am not being selfish, but the first option is my best option, besides i cannot mange to please everybody so am going to take a leap of faith anytime from now, confidently i will tell this particular person what i feel and how i think things should be and maybe we will manage to flip the page to the next chapter of life....i dont really like this chapter...it sucks, so Ya Allah, please guide me through this one all the way to the end, you are my only hope.!!

Running through my mind: "If u were dumped, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it" 

believe me you can do it!

Karma

Sometimes I question what I truly have to lose,

And then I really see its not all about me.

I feel like am being pushed up and around this endless tunnel

Am stuck in rat, I keep scampering round and round

I can see the end of the tunnel, the sunset sharply

Severing through my eyes but I cannot get myself to reach out to it

AM STUCK!